He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
