You work out of a Hotel?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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