oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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