i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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