He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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