Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
