Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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