are you still at the devil's house?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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