need another drink. this is the easiest way
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize