I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
