i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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