Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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