that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
