so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
