I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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