cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
