Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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