Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
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