We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize