why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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