I hope mine doesn't look like that
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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