Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
