but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
