It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
