where am i from again
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
