she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
