Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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