I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
