:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
