discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
