Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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