were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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