when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
