Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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