my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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