I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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