Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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