What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
