Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
