sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
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Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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