love makes seman taste better
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
