we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize