ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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