Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
