I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
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Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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