party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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