She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
