You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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