Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
