She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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