this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
