Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize