i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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