If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
