I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
