she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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