First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
