if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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