Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You left your phone here
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