Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
