playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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