Nicole vs. Life
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
