I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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