do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
