Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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