Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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