He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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