Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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